The Longest Day into Donets’k – 8/11/12
Aug 14th, 2012 by admin
For some unknown reason we decided that we just had to visit an old Soviet nuclear bunker that had been turned into a tourist attraction. It is supposed to somewhat off the beaten track but generally along our route so…
We plug the coordinates for the site into our GPS and head out looking for a town called Permaysk. The bunker is supposedly on the road north to Novosomewhereelse. Can’t miss it. Right.
We traveled up and down that road and criss-crossed every single dirt road in that area. One minute the GPS had the bunker behind us. The next, in front of us. We never did find it. And we looked for the better part of 5 hours. In the end, we gave up and headed for Donets’k.
We left the direct route to Donets’k when we headed north to Permaysk and when we gave up the search it looked more practical to head further north on the motorway and then turn east rather than retrace our steps to the original route.
On the motorway. Hammer down. 110 kph. (Which is below the speed limit, btw.) Come to a check point. The traffic suddenly slows to 50 kph. The cop jumps out and flags us over. He walks up and says for me to come with him. Up the road. Across the road in a crosswalk with traffic screech from 130 kph to 50 kph. “You in big trouble.”
The cop takes me into an emply office and says that since I was 60 kph over the crosswalk speed limit I have to go to the next town with him to pay a fine of $250. “$250?! I don’t have that kind of money!” “You in big trouble.” “There are no signs showing the new speed limit. Where are the sugns?” “You in big trouble.”
I argue and finally he says, “Okay, you pay $100 here. No go to town.” The Ukrainian traffic police are notoriously corrupt and this one is no different than the average bear. We argue. He asks for 80 euro. “I only have 40 euro.” “Okay. Good bye.”
Head head east and the motorway gives way to a two lane highway. And the sun goes down. We keep driving. It keeps getting darker.
We come to an intersection and I make what turns out to be an illegal lefthand turn. I couldn’t see the signs and made the turn. As soon as I did, the cop behind me turns on his lights and pulls us over. Damn.
He comes up to the car and asks for documents. Clemo and I start talking at the same time in English and in English. He immediately stops us, takes out his cell phone, calls someone and has a short chat. Then he hands me the phone.
There’s a woman on the other end and she asks me what happened. “I was blinded by the oncoming cars and couldn’t see the sign. And we’re lost. And it’s very dark.” Etc, etc, etc. “I think he’s going to give you a ticket for an illegal turn. Give the phone back to the officer.” She speaks excellent English.
They speak for a few minutes. The officer laughs and ends the call. He shrugs his shoulders and says goodbye. We leave. Okay? Da. Which way to Donets’k. Left. Good thing we asked – we were going right.
John starts driving again and we just push on. The roads are narrow, badly marked and seriously bumpy. By time time it’s 1AM, we’re still 200 miles from Donats’k. We discuss blowing our hotel reservation in Donets’k and decide to find some place to stop. The next corner, there’s motel. We stop. The night clerk comes out. He has a room with three beds and secure parking for $15 each. Sold.
He leads to the parking lot. We get out. “Where are you from?” “America and England.” “Welcome to the Ukraine.”
Welcome to bed. Good night, John Boy.
Obi-wan